happiest day ever.

I logged onto Blogger today to change my header, when WHAT DO YOU KNOW something AMAZING caught my eye.

What is so ingeniously incomprehendibly wonderful, you ask?

Blogger added like a gazillion new beautiful fonts to the list of choices. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. I went through every single one about three times, trying so hard to decide. They are all so beautiful. Of course I'm going to memorize them. I'll probably change this blog's font every week, just to keep you guessing. I feel like a whole new world has just been opened up to me. I might just burst into a song from Aladdin.

Or not.

behind the scenes.

The makeup room is crowded and hot.

You fight for a spot in front of the mirror

and pile on thick white foundation,

crying while your director teases your hair,

and you watch yourself transform

from a plain, ordinary girl

to an old woman or a rich man.

Today you’re a dark-eyed zombie.

You slip your uniform over your head

and pull your stockings over your legs,

lace up your boots and hold your breath

while someone stuffs you in a corset.

Your director appears to tells you it’s time.

You hum your way backstage and join hands

and bow your head to ask for God’s help.

Then you silently slip behind the set and wait.

You wait for seconds that seem like years.

You run your lines through your head

and realize you’ve forgotten all of them.

All you hear is the pounding hearts

and stiff breathing of your family around you.

The lights go down. The audience grows quiet.

The judge’s pen is poised against his spiral.

Red lights fade in on you at the sound of the music,

a few ominous booms and cautious chords.

You stand up and face your audience.

- MELISSA RENEE

jar of hearts

Who do you think you are?
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

- Christina Perri

Jane Austen Meets Taio Cruz

This made my day...week...LIFE(:

Black & White

What used to be so black and white

Is now just gray and out of sight

We’ve blurred the lines that used to be

They’re just a distant memory

All the things we know are wrong

We do them just to get along

All the things we know are right

Are lost in the fog, no longer white

What made us choose this road?

We’re not the people we used to know

The pressure from every direction

Pulls at us, destroys perfection

Everything that used to be

Is all just a dream to me

Where did we lose our soul?

We stopped, dropped, and let it roll

There’s no turning back this time

My body is no longer mine

We believe there’s no use pretending

There’s no such thing as a happy ening

My life I gave, but for what fight?

I died rediscovering black and white.

[for my school, me, and the general student body with all its ignorance. please don't copy, thanks.]

New Year's Resolutions

Wow, this is lame. I actually am going to blog about this? But I want to make this year count. 2011 is going to change something; I can feel it. (P.S: Share YOUR resolutions in the "comments" section!)

• Read my Bible more often. Seeing as I hardly read it at all, there's plenty of room for improvement. I try -- really, I do.
• Expand my cooking abilities. I think everyone will be happier.
• Grow out my hair. Again. I'll probably just chop it all off anyways.
• Get above a 95 average in all of my classes. So close!
• Be a better friend. I don't think there's ever a moment where you can be too good of a friend.
• Take photos. Lots of photos.
• Finish reading A Tale of Two Cities. The mere thought scares the Dickens out of me. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

2011, you are going to be a very hard year.

a note on love.

How does it feel to have a heart that's beyond breaking?

Can you feel anything at all anymore?

You're looking for love so desperately

but trust me. You'll never find it.

You already have love, true love,

the greatest love ever known to anyone,

and you don't even see it.

The Creator of the Universe is madly in love with you,

but you don't even notice. You don't even care.

You pretend it doesn't matter, but I can see your pain.

If you have Love like that, you don't need anything else.

If you have God's love, no one else's love really matters.

Irrevocable. Unconditional. Eternal.

Isn't that enough?

[for a friend]