Did I Mention that I'll Miss You?

I was in a play last week, and you've heard me rave about how fun it is to be on stage, but the best part is the people. The cast is my extended (and crazy) family. When I first started working with them in Pride & Prejudice, I considered myself on the outside looking in, but now, after two more years, I feel like we're close in a way that regular friends aren't, because we've worked for something and created something together.

This makes me sad. I'm sad because I'm really going to miss them when I go to public high school next year. This fact will end my existence as far as I'm concerned. It was my parents' decision, and I fought it but eventually I wonder, what's the point? I'm not going to change anything anyway. And sometimes, when I cry myself to sleep at night, I wonder if maybe I really am a theatre person because I am so dramatic.

I'm an Achiever!

Do you ever laugh at how dumb you were as a little kid? When I was about seven, my friend's dad gave me a purple pencil box with pencils in it that said "I'm an Achiever!" And for some bizarre reason, that touched me. Touched me. Cheesy, I know. What actually ran through my tiny seven-year-old brain was: Wow, he thinks I'm an achiever! He thinks I'm smart! Elated, I showed my mom and dad the pencils. "Mr. Andy thinks I'm an achiever," I told them proudly. "Isn't that nice of him?" Mom just said, "Mmmmm..." and Dad was silent.

Kaila

I have this friend. OK, this best friend. This girl I met in kindergarton so long ago when I was Miss Popular.
Well, this friend disappeared. I really don't know why. We just got separated. She moved away. I moved even farther. We haven't seen each other for a few years.
We used to play games together, even when we were getting older and supposed to be over that stuff. We played with my toy horses and had an entire world fixated around the pony characters. (And yes, we were eleven or twelve.) She always had to play the boy horse, and I always had Princess, the beautiful mare who fell in love with him. Other times we pretended we were in high school and had super powers and won the hearts of our handsome and lightning-fast crushes that didn't really exist.
I missed that. But I really miss her.
And then...POOF.
She appears. Magically. This long lost friend of mine shows up on my blog. Just like that. All because of a post card I sent her when I was in Europe. I feel like I'm a pirate who's rediscovered treasure that I buried long ago. OK, that's a really bad analogy, but you get the picture. This girl and I are tight.
So here's to you, Kaila.

Oh. My. Blog.

So I installed this new thingie at the bottom of each post which tells you what "related" posts you should totally check out...and one was "Edward Cullen's Hair". Intrigued and unable to remember writing that, I clicked on it. And I started laughing.
So much has changed since then. It's hilarious in an inside-joke-that-only-I-get sort of way. I was actually asking people if they thought Twilight was anti-Christian? Seriously? Because now I really don't care about anyone else's opinion. I was so innocent and open-minded. Funny stuff. Two of my friends have tried to convert me back to my I-guess-I-don't-care-about-Twilight days, but every time they are shunned. And every time I think of my sweet Rachel, I remember exactly why I love Twilight. And Edward Cullen's hair.

Why Not Me?

Why Alice? Why should she get to befriend talking bunnies and slay the Jabberwocky? Why should she have gotten to visit Wonderland at all? Why not me?

Why shouldn’t I have a best friend who’s obsessed with hats (and who is, I might add, Johnny Depp)? Why shouldn’t I have a tangle of long cascading blonde curls? Why shouldn’t I have beautiful and eccentric dresses? Why shouldn’t I melt the heart of a snow leopard who previously wanted to rip my head off?

And most of all…. Why can’t I be absolutely bonkers? All the good people are.

Life is unfair sometimes.