The Cutest Little Freshman You'll Ever See

School is good. Except the learning part. That's gotta go.

The theatre people are so awesome. I think it's funny how you can always tell who those people are. They have a reputation for being crazy, but I like them. They've sort of "adopted" me, I guess. Every time I speak, they say, "Awww...she's so cute...!"

I don't have a single group of friends yet. I like the theatre kids a lot but since they're older I don't get to see them outside of drama class. I move around, but I usually sit with the popular girls and some guys for lunch and sit with the gay kids and the goth kids in the morning. I really don't know how that worked out. I found a girl who likes to share her cookies, chips, and gum with me because she says I'm too skinny, so that's cool. When it comes down to it, I usually just sit and pretend to be very interested in my nails or a scratch on the table.

Fishy

Tomorrow, I become a high schooler.

I have been really upset about it, but then out of the blue Rachel called me today and it's nice to know that someone else is nervous. Then my nana called, and people at church have encouraged me, so I'm feeling a little better. Talking to sweet Gillian also helped. :)

My biggest worry, besides not having friends despite the fact that I am a very social gal, is that I will be in over my head in homework and theatre and everything. I'm doing all advanced classes and so I'm just waiting to see if I can handle it.

Another big reason for my worries? Here we go.....I'm really dependent and I don't have much common sense. I'm smart, but I haven't been in school since I was in first grade, and that was private school. I don't like to feel alone and I don't like things resting solely on my shoulders. Plus, as you know, I am a huge procrastinator.

So tomorrow I will become a fishy. I will straighten my hair (again), put on some vanilla-scented perfume, gloss my lips and arrive at high school with just a notebook and a pencil.

Oh yeah, I think God will be there, too.

Old and Uncool

The other day I was at the pool with my family. We'd been there a while and I was bored, so I swam up to my 8-year-old brother Elijah, who was playing with his "friends" that he had just met.
I asked, "What are you playing?" in the hopes that I could join in.
Au contraire.
Elijah pulled me aside and said quietly, "Melissa..." He couldn't look at my face.
"What?" I asked.
He bites his lip. "I'm playing with my friends."

Suddenly I got it.
My little brother was too cool to have his lame older sister around while he played with his friends.
I couldn't even swim in the general vincinity without embarassing the poor dear.
I was an oldie, too irrelevant and old-fashioned and not in with the times.
I use terms like "flipping" and "bazinga" and he was probably horribly afraid that I would unleash my slightly-too-loud laugh and his little buddies would hear it. Oh PLEASE, not the laugh! Anything but the laugh!

It's great to know the confidence my family has in me.

Contradictions

Is it possible to be deep and shallow at the same time?

Is it possible to be the opposite of yourself?

Can you contradict who you are?

I feel like a Starburst.

I’m a pack of contradictions.

20 Things You (Probably) Don't Know About Me

1. I love emo hair and black nail polish. I really don't know why. That's not even my "look" or anything.

2. I get really mad when people are prejudice against people who are "different". If you have trouble being nice to an emo, someone with tattoos, or anyone you judge because of how they look, I have trouble being nice to you.

3. I love things that most people don't love, like outrageous red snakeskin heels and other items of clothing that people think of as "ugly". Nobody knows this, though. Like, nobody.

4. I have this obnoxious big smile and I don't really like it, especially when everyone around me gives these tiny little semi-smiles.

5. I love rain. I love cold weather. Like in Forks, Washington. Mostly because vampires live there. So why exactly do I live in Texas? Hmm....

6. When I'm concentrating really hard, I stick out my tongue a little.

7. I like indie pop music.

8. I have my entire wedding planned out, as well as the names and genders of my future children. My problem is that I only want 2-3 kids, but I have so many awesome names. (Haven and Oliver...so cute!)

9. I'm not as close to God as I'd like to think.

10. Even though I hang out with people who are older than me sometimes, I always feel like I'm the oldest person in the room. I told one of my older friends this and she said I was stuck up, but then she laughed and said "just kidding". Yeah. Thanks. It's not like I think I'm better than them or anything, I just have a strong personality and most people follow me instead of me following them. I think that's why.

11. I sometimes hate myself. Mainly because I'm a procrastinator and can't keep my room clean. But also because I skipped ahead in Breaking Dawn and ruined the whole book for myself.

12. I sing in the shower. I belt it out. Turns out that people can still hear me in there. Great.

13. My glass is half-empty. Almost half-full, but not quite.

14. I wish I was pale. But no, I am tan. Gah.

15. I am a "what-if" person. Being sure of the fact that I'm going to die any second now is part of my everyday life. I'm constantly thinking, "There's a car. I'm in the front seat. If we crash, which we probably will, the airbags will snap my spine. It'll be fast. I'm ready to die. OK." I watch the car drive by, and I'm still alive, so I wait for the next one. Etc.

16. Shy people annoy me. I don't get them. Some of my best friends are shy. My awesomeness freaks them out sometimes. I find immense pleasure in embarassing them by talking too loud or doing something silly in public. So yeah. Nick Jonas and I would probably kill each other.

17. I am terrified of old age. Like Bella from Twilight. Like, it seriously scares me, creeps me out like nothing else in the world. I'm not afraid of old people. I like them. I'm afraid of me as an old person. Scary.

18. I am a people watcher. I get wierd stares all the time.

19. I was married once. To a girl. It didn't work out. (To those of you who are about to call me gay, I'm not. It was an inside joke thing.)

20. I admire people who are real and don't change who they are just because they'd be less different if they did.

How to Blog like Melissa

When I’m in a blogging mood (which is almost always) there are certain things I do – blogging rituals, if you will – that get my creative juices flowing. There are also certain things that always seem to come up in my writing due to how my brain works. So here it is, the long-awaited, epic guide on how to blog like me.

• Listen to Justin Bieber. If you want to truly reflect my writing style, you MUST listen to Justin Bieber while you write future posts. This is very important.

• Think like a girl. Or, if you’re less gracious, think like you have ADHD. While I’m blogging, I’m also thinking about the lifeguard at the pool, the outfit I want to wear the next day, what my makeup will look like, the party I’m going to that week, all while I’m singing the super-fast rap part of “Baby”. Oh yeah. You wish you were that cool.

• Make a lot of really lame jokes that only you get. Your readers won’t get the reference to the fifth chapter of Eclipse that you slipped in there. Trust me. They’ll just think you came up with that on your own. (UNLESS you’re referencing the “tent scene”.) Like when I said “you can Google it” in my post about CPR. That was a reference to Twilight when Edward says, “You can Google it.” Yeah. I told you it was lame.

• Casually mention Nick Jonas, Taylor Lautner, or Justin Bieber in at least 20% of your posts. OK, if you’re a guy, skip this step. Please.
• Tag the Gospel message at the end of each post. You must almost ALWAYS have some reference to Jesus if you want to blog like me. EXAMPLE: “Then Taylor Lautner and I jumped on a horse and galloped off into the sunset. Speaking of Jesus, He died for you. What? We weren’t talking about Jesus? Oh. Well, now that you mention Him….” OR: “Rachel and I went to see Eclipse. It was awesome! You know, that reminds me a lot of God’s love….” Once I even wrote a post about burgers and tied it into being God’s disciple. Seriously.