How to Blog like Melissa

When I’m in a blogging mood (which is almost always) there are certain things I do – blogging rituals, if you will – that get my creative juices flowing. There are also certain things that always seem to come up in my writing due to how my brain works. So here it is, the long-awaited, epic guide on how to blog like me.

Listen to Justin Bieber. If you want to truly reflect my writing style, you MUST listen to Justin Bieber while you write future posts. This is very important.
Think like a girl. Or, if you’re less gracious, think like you have ADHD. While I’m blogging, I’m also thinking about the lifeguard at the pool, the outfit I want to wear the next day, what my makeup will look like, the party I’m going to that week, all while I’m singing the super-fast rap part of “Baby”. Oh yeah. You wish you were that cool.
Make a lot of really lame jokes that only you get. Your readers won’t get the reference to the fifth chapter of Eclipse that you slipped in there. Trust me. They’ll just think you came up with that on your own. (UNLESS you’re referencing the “tent scene”.) Like when I said “you can Google it” in my post about CPR. That was a reference to Twilight when Edward says, “You can Google it.” Yeah. I told you it was lame.
Casually mention Nick Jonas, Taylor Lautner, or Justin Bieber in at least 20% of your posts. OK, if you’re a guy, skip this step. Please.
Tag the Gospel message at the end of each post. You must almost ALWAYS have some reference to Jesus if you want to blog like me. EXAMPLE: “Then Taylor Lautner and I jumped on a horse and galloped off into the sunset. Speaking of Jesus, He died for you. What? We weren’t talking about Jesus? Oh. Well, now that you mention Him….” OR: “Rachel and I went to see Eclipse. It was awesome! You know, that reminds me a lot of God’s love….” Once I even wrote a post about burgers and tied it into being God’s disciple. Seriously.


  1. Shh...I have a secret love for Nick Jonas.

    I like to call the random things going through my head while blogging multitasking, lol. Me and my best friend can both be talking at the same time and catch every detail of what the other person says while still telling them our story. Our computer apps teacher, who is a guy, always sits there and looks at us and says, "Ok...one more time" It's funny.

  2. Your secret is safe with me...and the world wide web. :)

    That IS funny!

  3. bahahaha...so last night I dreamed that Nick was at this camp I was at. when I left, he asked me if I wanted his autograph, and I said sure. While he was giving it to me, I totally insulted him and told him that his music was terrible. it was so funny, especially since I kinda like their music :)

  4. Katie,
    Wow! That seems like a pretty awesome dream. Except for the dissing part of course. :)

  5. I think I'll stick to my own way of blogging... though I don't do it very often... hmmm. But thinking like a girl can be extremely hard. You have no idea =P Lame jokes come naturally, just not sure how many get out there. I'll stay away from Nick Jonas and the others... pretty far away... jk well yeah I will but I don't really hate them... it's just... they're not as good in my opinion (please please don't be offended...) And the Gospels always good. I think I used to do that but now I just don't have very much time for anything so I write what's on my mind. Sorry I think I kinda overdid it. You'll forgive me right?? Jesus loves you! =)

  6. Haha. I've heard someone say that guys are like waffles and men are like spaghetti...how they think and everything. :)

    And about Nick Jonas...Taylor Lautner is cooler, but I guess it's just a joke, me talking about him, and Justin Bieber is not my type. haha. And I don't really care for their music anymore anyways....

  7. Hi Melissa,

    Just want to say that I think you have a GREAT blog here! keep up the good work! :)


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