I think sometimes we just want to be bad. Just because. For no reason at all. We know we shouldn’t enjoy doing bad things, but, sadly, we sometimes do. When you’re in a fight with someone and you say something that really proves you’re right and beats the other person down – we smile to ourselves. When we toilet-paper people’s houses – we don’t have a reason for it – we just want to be a rebel, just this once, just because we can. We like it. We like to break rules. We like to push limits, test people, see how far we can go and get away with it.
It’s the awful, terrible, yet honest truth. We long to let people know that we do things on our own terms! I’ve told my mom once, "You know I’m doing this out of free will, right? You can’t make me do anything; it’s my choice." And it was my choice. Sure, I could be punished for my actions, but when it came down to it, she couldn’t have me beheaded (not that she’d want to). And I liked the fact that she couldn’t go beyond that. I’m ashamed of it, but I liked that power that I had tapped.
I am not a rebellious teenager. I don’t take my parents’ car and crash it. (Really, why would I want to take that big white bus? My friends would laugh at me! Besides, I’m terrified of driving.) I don’t go to parties and get drunk. I don’t do drugs, I don’t get in fights (except for, "Some sister you are! Give that back to me, Jessie, or I’ll never play with you again. Or talk to you either! So THERE!") Some parents would be shocked at my utter politeness and sweet air. (Yes, Dad, they would.)
As you may know, I was recently in a play called Pride and Prejudice, where I played Lydia, the little sister who runs away and gets married to a charming, handsome scoundrel. I was a spoiled brat who loved to rub things in on my sisters who were obviously less cultured than myself. I played that role big and it oozed sass. Let me tell you – it was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done! I loved playing that role; being a "mean girl" for once in my life. Of course, none of it was real, but I admit I had a great time being the spoiled brat.
I don’t think that’s a sin, personally, to enjoy being a character that’s my polar opposite. But all the other things I’ve mentioned – and you can think of your own, I know – are all wrong. God instructs us to "not delight in evil" but "rejoice in the truth". Maybe we should rethink those stupid, mean, and sometimes, frankly, enjoyable things that we do.
We can’t be perfect. But we can work to smooth out our wrinkles and flaws to eventually be the best we can be. Think it’s too hard a job? Talk to God about it. He’ll help you – I promise.
This week really try to not "delight in evil", but "rejoice in the truth"!